I happened to be writing a short section “Competition” as part of a book I’m working on, when I started reading about the horrible fan behavior at the Ryder Cup. As a lifelong participant, coach and fan, sports has given me so much. In many ways, it has shaped who I am today. My dad, a lifelong teacher and coach used to talk about “the integrity of the game” . . .

I’m not naive enough to think that hatred and vulgarity won’t find their way in to sports, but also know that anyone who’s ever worn the uniform and competed hard and fairly against a good opponent would never behave like the fans at Bethpage. Our opponents drive our improvement.

Tommy Fleetwood was honored with the Nicklaus - Jacklin Sportsmanship Award. Here’s what he had to say:

Here’s the book segment:

Competition

In this day and age, it's become popular to denigrate or even to "hate" your opponent. While this approach towards your opponent can seem motivating, it's flawed, since it comes from a place of negativity. This has always seemed ironic to me, since oftentimes our opponents are quite like us - they play and love the same sport, they're around the same age, they love their teammates and want to win just like you do. 

You should respect and even honor your opponent. After all, without a worthy opponent there can be no competition. You grow and improve through regular healthy competition. It's possible to want to beat your opponent and to respect her at the same time - you can hold these two views at the same time. You and your opponent are bringing out the best in each other. At the end of the day, your opponent is providing the challenge, but the person you're really competing against is yourself. Am I growing? Am I improving? What more can I work on or do to play better? Competing against a worthy opponent helps to clarify this. Don't let yourself get caught up in negative emotions about your opponent. This will only detract from your mental bandwidth, and can put you into a negative, contracted frame of mind and body. Instead, respect, if not honor your opponent. Keep things positive, and know that a good opponent is what you want. That's what makes you get better. That's the value of competition. There's a spaciousness there.

Being a good competitor takes practice. Not giving up takes practice. Competing right through to the end of the game takes practice. Too many athletes train year round for their sport - but don't compete enough. The good news here is that you can practice competing in other sports or activities that may not be your "main" sport. So if you want to get good at competing, practice competing. Embrace the benefits of competing, as it sharpens your edge. Learn to love competing as a way to learn what you are capable of. Value your opponent as someone who brings out the best in you.

Thanks for Reading.